Three matches. Zero goals. Two bore draws and out of the League Cup on pens. What a week…

Paul Scholes has criticized the manager, calling our football boring and devoid of risk. He’s as accurate as one of his trademark 40-yard pinged passes.

Van Gaal’s retort of ‘sticks and stones’ may have been apropos – as is his questioning of Scholes agenda – but one thing is for certain, and that is that this team has had the goals coached out of them.

Possession football is all well and good, but it’s what you do with it that matters. Our current tactics seem to be arranged so as to keep the ball for 90 minutes but to never risk losing it for something as silly as a shot on target. Is Van Gaal aware that the points are awarded based on the final tally of goals – not the possession column? It hardly seems like it.

Let’s look at the stats:

• Man City: 59% possession, 1 shot on target
• Middlesbrough: 56% possession, 6 shots on target [whoa lads, take it easy!]
• Crystal Palace: 56% possession, 1 shot on target

Sorry gaffer, but not only is this nowhere near good enough, it flies in the face of the United ‘philosophy’. This club plays attacking football. The kind where we never look like losing. This team comes at you relentlessly in search of victory.

The way we currently set up it wouldn’t surprise me if the lads are still on the pitch at Selhurst Park looking to score, but can’t.

We have two home matches before the next international break. They’re both winnable. But…

…will Van Gaal have the balls to let the team of its leash a little bit? Will we actually try to get forward and threaten the opposition goal? Will we [whisper it] bench the overpaid and underperforming Wayne Rooney?

Don’t be on it.